Roughly a fifth of the world's oil squeezes through a 33km gap between Iran and Oman every single day. Surely we can do better. Right?
Each solution has been carefully evaluated by absolutely no one with relevant credentials.
Draw your own canal through the Arabian Peninsula. Click on the map and watch the budget evaporate.
Send a polite diplomatic email to all parties. This is our third follow-up. Please RSVP.
Park ~100 aircraft carriers side by side. Lay plywood. Drive trucks across. Click to deploy.
Just pump all the water out. Walk the oil across the seabed. Only 31.4 trillion gallons to go.
Build a medieval siege weapon large enough to yeet oil barrels across 33km at Mach 1.7.
Use tectonic engineering to relocate Iran somewhere less inconvenient. ETA: 200 million years.
A covert underwater pipeline disguised as a very large drinking straw. Iran must never know.
Expand the US Navy Marine Mammal Program. Strap a barrel to each dolphin. 21 million of them.
Tokenize every barrel of oil as an NFT. Ship it as data. The oil stays in the ground. You own the JPEG.